RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE |
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De Darrah
Matron Joined: November/10/2007 Location: Sacramento CA Status: Offline Points: 3419 |
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Posted: November/21/2020 at 11:33am |
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen. 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake." 8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!". 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'. 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. 13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!". Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
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De
Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A. As Brother Ben F. said "In Wine there is Wisdom In Beer there is Freedom In Water there is Bacteria" < |
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log cabin Bill
Quarryman Joined: October/31/2010 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Status: Offline Points: 1057 |
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He was always a class act. I remember him signing off his TV show by saying "and may God bless," and yes, he was a brother of the craft.
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North Hills Lodge, #716,PM
Allegheny RAM,#217,PHP Allegheny Council,#38,PTIM Allegheny Commandery #35 Knight Masons,Gateway To The West Council #5 AASR,Valley of Pgh. Syria Shrine Islam Grotto |
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edwmax
Administrator Joined: November/06/2007 Location: Georgia, USA Status: Offline Points: 7098 |
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I got a set of CDs of Red ... I think I will pull them out watch um.
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"He who would assume to govern others must first learn to govern himself."
Thomasville 369 |
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