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cemab4y
Quarryman Joined: October/31/2007 Location: Fairfax VA Status: Offline Points: 1267 |
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Posted: August/31/2015 at 6:01pm |
My brothers, ten (10) years of service in Iraq/Afghanistan have taken a toll on me. I have had two co-workers killed, and a friend lost a hand in combat. I have seen a man explode right in front of me. I have had several close calls, and I have almost been killed several times. Only by luck and the grace of the Supreme Architect, am I still alive.
I have suffered a severe mental breakdown, and I crawled into bed with a plastic bag, ready to make the final journey. Fortunately, the Veterans administration, and the Defense Department is taking mental illness seriously. Each day, twenty (20) veterans of Iraq/Afghanistan commit suicide. This does include civilian contractors who have also crossed over. I am getting the help I need to recover, and to control the depression, which is gripping me, and has done so for the last 20 years. Imagine living with a growling, snarling beast, that can destroy you in ten seconds. The beast is temporarily controlled with drugs, but the drugs can fail. I am at a Veteran’s Affairs facility in Maryland, trying to make the journey back to mental health. I often have severe crying spells, and I have to be sedated. Please keep Larisa and me in your prayers. Freedom is not free. We each pay for the privilege in different ways. Charles E. Martin Perry Point Maryland |
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Charles E. Martin
Alexandria, VA Bowling Green Lodge 73, Bowling Green KY (GL of KY, F&AM) Alexandria VA Scottish Rite Bodies (AASR, Southern Jurisdiction, USA) |
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Sec'yBob
Quarryman Joined: April/23/2015 Location: Missouri Status: Offline Points: 468 |
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My Brother, I am with you all the way.
While I have not endured combat, I empathize with your situation and I support you and all the rest. I am a vetean myself, served 30 years.
The military can be a chore sometimes without combat.
Hang in there, your brothers here are with you and yours. Be strong, rely on the Master, pray
every chance you get, both alone and with your soul mate.
He may not answer your prayer when you want, but that's because he has a plan for you. Keep the faith remain strong and focused.
After all, Masons are good men, I know you can beat this.
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Raised 2001
PM Crestwood-Anchor #443 PM Meramec #313 X3 Past DDGM Dist #24 Lodge Education Officer Missouri Lodge of Research O.E.S. Chapter 129 WP X3 Legion of Honor recipient |
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Adept?
Senior Member Joined: August/30/2013 Location: Maine Status: Offline Points: 746 |
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Sorry to Learn of your troubles Brother. Hang in there, and know that the craft is always here for you. It sounds like you have made appropriate and necessary steps toward wellness on your own. Please keep us updated.
Remember... "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Take care, and get well. Bro. Robert N. Littlefield 32° U.S. Navy Veteran |
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"It is humanity that creates god, and men think that god has made them in his image, because they make him in theirs."
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scout
Groupie Joined: July/11/2013 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 47 |
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Brother, I'm sorry to hear of your struggle, but happy that you are taking steps to heal. I will pray for your healing and happiness. Your brothers love you and are not willing that you be alone. Let's trust our maker, who sees your struggle, to reach out and touch your life. Open yourself to this healing daily.
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jdwalker519
Quarryman Joined: October/12/2013 Location: Washington, DC Status: Offline Points: 226 |
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You're definitely in my prayers.
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J.D. Walker
Free and Accepted Masons of the District of Columbia Royal Arch of the District of Columbia Order of the Eastern Star, Grand Chapter of Virginia |
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log cabin Bill
Quarryman Joined: October/31/2010 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Status: Offline Points: 1057 |
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I am also praying for your recovery. It sounds like you are in the right facility for you. I wish you all the best, especially a complete recovery. As you progress, maybe you can find some comfort by using your ham radio license and getting on the air and talking with others. You can probably get on two meters from the VA facility using a handheld rig. Take care and follow what the medical professionals say is the best. Keep us advised as to your progress.
S&F, Bill (WA3CWA) |
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North Hills Lodge, #716,PM
Allegheny RAM,#217,PHP Allegheny Council,#38,PTIM Allegheny Commandery #35 Knight Masons,Gateway To The West Council #5 AASR,Valley of Pgh. Syria Shrine Islam Grotto |
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cemab4y
Quarryman Joined: October/31/2007 Location: Fairfax VA Status: Offline Points: 1267 |
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I am in hospital. I am being evaluated for electric shock treatments
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Charles E. Martin
Alexandria, VA Bowling Green Lodge 73, Bowling Green KY (GL of KY, F&AM) Alexandria VA Scottish Rite Bodies (AASR, Southern Jurisdiction, USA) |
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WBScott
Quarryman Joined: October/18/2014 Location: Wright City, MO Status: Offline Points: 265 |
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Prayers and good thoughts are with you my Brother.
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Wentzville (MO) Lodge #46 - PM
Pride of the West (MO) Lodge #179 - PM (twice) Pauldingville (MO) Lodge #11 - Secretary Warrenton (MO) Lodge #609 - Secretary Past DDGM - 25th Masonic District |
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cemab4y
Quarryman Joined: October/31/2007 Location: Fairfax VA Status: Offline Points: 1267 |
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I am transferring to the Baltimore hospital for treatment. If anyone is in the area, please feel free to visit
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Charles E. Martin
Alexandria, VA Bowling Green Lodge 73, Bowling Green KY (GL of KY, F&AM) Alexandria VA Scottish Rite Bodies (AASR, Southern Jurisdiction, USA) |
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cemab4y
Quarryman Joined: October/31/2007 Location: Fairfax VA Status: Offline Points: 1267 |
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I have connected with a local lodge here in downtown Baltimore. The brothers are bringing over some games and snacks for the vets here. God bless our Craft!
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Charles E. Martin
Alexandria, VA Bowling Green Lodge 73, Bowling Green KY (GL of KY, F&AM) Alexandria VA Scottish Rite Bodies (AASR, Southern Jurisdiction, USA) |
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Warrior1256
Groupie Joined: September/04/2014 Location: Louisville, Ky Status: Offline Points: 97 |
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I am so sorry to hear of your troubles brother. Prayers will most certainly be offered.
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St. Matthews Lodge 906
Suburban Lodge 740 Shively-Lewis-Parkland 951 AASR, Orient of Kentucky, Valley of Louisville King Solomon Chapter 5 Louisville Council 4 North Central York Rite College 116 |
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eagle-751
Quarryman Joined: August/17/2009 Location: Ohio Status: Offline Points: 321 |
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Prayers my Brother. We understand and feel for you. GOD Bless.
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Past Master ( 2014 - 2015 )
Riddle Lodge No. 315 24th Masonic District Grand Lodge of Ohio |
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cemab4y
Quarryman Joined: October/31/2007 Location: Fairfax VA Status: Offline Points: 1267 |
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Larisa and I are grateful for all of the kind words expressed by every one.
Today, Weds 21 Oct, I received my first electric shock treatment. The procedure went well, only side effect is my jaw muscles are sore from the teeth-clenching during the convulsions.
BTW- I do not 'have' depression. This disease is so hateful, no one would consider owning it. I am BATTLING depression, like the brave men and women I saw die in Iraq/Afghanistan. I am using every weapon I can find, counseling, drugs, shocks. I will have to fight this disease for the rest of my life,there is no cure.
With the help of the Supreme Architect, I believe I can control this beast, and lead a fairly normal life.
"Knowledge alone, is power" - Sun-Tzu "The art of war" \
"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer" - Michael Corleone
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Charles E. Martin
Alexandria, VA Bowling Green Lodge 73, Bowling Green KY (GL of KY, F&AM) Alexandria VA Scottish Rite Bodies (AASR, Southern Jurisdiction, USA) |
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