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Paraprosdokians

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De Darrah View Drop Down
Matron
Matron
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Joined: November/10/2007
Location: Sacramento CA
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Points: 3085
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote De Darrah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Paraprosdokians
    Posted: December/10/2015 at 4:45pm
PARAPROSDOKIANS are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is
unexpected.

Some examples:

1.   Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 

2.   Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 

3.   If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

4.   War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

5    Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 

6.   They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

7.   To steal ideas from someone is plagiarism.  To steal from many is called research.

8.   In filling in an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency', notify:  I put 'DOCTOR.'

9.    I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10.   Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head (or a mullet) and a beer gut, and still think they look sexy.

11.   Behind every successful man is his woman.  Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

12.   A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory.

13.   I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not so sure.

14.   Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. Nor is there any future in it.

15.   Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

16.   Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

17.   Finally: I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

And my personal favorite:

I am not arguing with you, I am explaining why you are wrong.
De
Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES
PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ
Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A.

As Brother Ben F. said
"In Wine there is Wisdom
In Beer there is Freedom
In Water there is Bacteria"
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Dustoff-00 View Drop Down
Quarryman
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Joined: November/17/2015
Location: Huntsville, AL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dustoff-00 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/10/2015 at 10:57pm
Weird,,,,heard my wife use your favorite line just the other day.

Edited by Dustoff-00 - December/10/2015 at 11:00pm
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