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A Good Laugh

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De Darrah View Drop Down
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    Posted: February/01/2016 at 9:47am
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
 
"You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301.  There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301.  I  buzz you in. Come inside and elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.  OK?"
 
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? .........
 
"What ... You're coming empty handed?"
__________________________________________
 
Wise Italian Grandfather

An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ... 38 revolver, so you will always remember me."
 
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns ... How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
 
"You lissina me, boy!  Somma day you gonna be runna DA business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "
 
"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then?  Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times up!' "?
__________________________________________
 
Irish blonde...

An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino.
She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.
 
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
 
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!"  She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
 
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
 
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
 
The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."
 
MORAL OF THE STORY
 
Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, ...
But all men ... Are men!
__________________________________________
 
Global Facts About Sex

At any given moment:
FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: 1 old person is reading emails.
 
You hang in there, sunshine
De
Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES
PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ
Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A.

As Brother Ben F. said
"In Wine there is Wisdom
In Beer there is Freedom
In Water there is Bacteria"
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edwmax View Drop Down
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Location: Georgia, USA
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote edwmax Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/01/2016 at 10:12am
Your being bad, today.    ....LOL ...
"Until you realize that your viewpoint is incomplete and that's '_' viewpoint is complete, only then can you become teachable in the Mysteries of '_'."





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De Darrah View Drop Down
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Joined: November/10/2007
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote De Darrah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/01/2016 at 7:05pm
Yep I are.  Big smile
De
Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES
PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ
Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A.

As Brother Ben F. said
"In Wine there is Wisdom
In Beer there is Freedom
In Water there is Bacteria"
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