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Christmas groaners

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De Darrah View Drop Down

Joined: November/10/2007
Location: Sacramento CA
Status: Offline
Points: 3004
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    Posted: December/17/2016 at 2:27pm
It's time to get some spirit around here.

So I'll start.

Q. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A. It’s Christmas, Eve

Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter!

Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presents you would rather not have received:

1.  Thanks a lot!
2.  My word!  What a gift.
3.  Well, well, well ...
4.  If I hadn't put on so much weight recently it would have fitted me perfectly.
5.  Gosh, I hope I never lose this. We're always losing things around here.
6.  It's great; but I'm worried about the envy it may create.
7.  Just my luck to get this on the very Christmas I promised to give all my gifts to charity.
8.  Unfortunately, I am about to enter MI5's Witness Protection programme.
9.  Frankly, I don't deserve this.
10. Really, you shouldn't have.

It was coming up to Christmas and the Judge was in a jolly frame of mind.

"Now then, please tell me, what is the charge against you?" 

" I was caught doing my Christmas shopping very early." replied the man in the dock.

"That doesn't seem like an offence to me. What do you mean by 'very early?

"Well, your Honour." said the defendant, "It was before the shop was open.
Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES
PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ

As Brother Ben F. said
"In Wine there is Wisdom
In Beer there is Freedom
In Water there is Bacteria"
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