LEXOPHILIA
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Topic: LEXOPHILIA
Posted By: De Darrah
Subject: LEXOPHILIA
Date Posted: February/24/2016 at 12:09pm
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WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP? Why, a lexophile of course! How does Moses make tea? Hebrews
it
Venison for dinner again? Oh
deer!
A cartoonist was found dead in his
home. Details are sketchy.
I used to be a banker, but then I
lost interest.
Haunted French pancakes give me the
crêpes.
England has no kidney bank, but it
does have a Liverpool.
I tried to catch some fog, but I
mist. They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo. I changed my iPod's name to
Titanic. It's syncing now. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. When chemists die, they barium. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. Broken pencils are pointless. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Velcro - what a rip off! Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last. ------------- De Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A. As Brother Ben F. said "In Wine there is Wisdom In Beer there is Freedom In Water there is Bacteria" < |
Replies:
Posted By: Sec'yBob
Date Posted: February/26/2016 at 11:07am
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I didn't want to be a cowboy..................but I got roped into it.
------------- Raised 2001 PM Crestwood-Anchor #443 PM Meramec #313 X3 Past DDGM Dist #24 Lodge Education Officer Missouri Lodge of Research O.E.S. Chapter 129 WP X3 Legion of Honor recipient |
Posted By: De Darrah
Date Posted: February/26/2016 at 12:47pm
Good one. 
------------- De Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A. As Brother Ben F. said "In Wine there is Wisdom In Beer there is Freedom In Water there is Bacteria" < |
Posted By: Sec'yBob
Date Posted: February/26/2016 at 7:18pm
We both have bucket lists, but yours "pails" in comparison to mine.
------------- Raised 2001 PM Crestwood-Anchor #443 PM Meramec #313 X3 Past DDGM Dist #24 Lodge Education Officer Missouri Lodge of Research O.E.S. Chapter 129 WP X3 Legion of Honor recipient |
Posted By: edwmax
Date Posted: February/27/2016 at 6:30am
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"I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now." ..... a Paraprosdokian ....it's Rhetoric ... ------------- "He who would assume to govern others must first learn to govern himself." Thomasville 369 |
Posted By: De Darrah
Date Posted: February/27/2016 at 9:22am
Max you are the ELDER. 
------------- De Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A. As Brother Ben F. said "In Wine there is Wisdom In Beer there is Freedom In Water there is Bacteria" < |
Posted By: edwmax
Date Posted: February/27/2016 at 9:33am
Now Bob ... be nice to the Lady. I'm pretty sure it's your list that pails in compassion to her's. And, I think the last thing De wants to do is hurt you. It's just last on her list. ...  ------------- "He who would assume to govern others must first learn to govern himself." Thomasville 369 |
Sec'yBob wrote:Posted By: Sec'yBob
Date Posted: February/27/2016 at 4:31pm
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Sorry, I hadn't had my evening dose of scotch yet. I will try and be nice in the future.  ------------- Raised 2001 PM Crestwood-Anchor #443 PM Meramec #313 X3 Past DDGM Dist #24 Lodge Education Officer Missouri Lodge of Research O.E.S. Chapter 129 WP X3 Legion of Honor recipient |
Posted By: edwmax
Date Posted: February/27/2016 at 7:29pm
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Scotch ??? ... just a minute .... hum, Gin will have to do here .... darn it'll make me want to be bad.
------------- "He who would assume to govern others must first learn to govern himself." Thomasville 369 |
Posted By: De Darrah
Date Posted: February/27/2016 at 11:05pm
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Make mine Jack, gents.
------------- De Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A. As Brother Ben F. said "In Wine there is Wisdom In Beer there is Freedom In Water there is Bacteria" < |
Posted By: WBScott
Date Posted: February/28/2016 at 7:05am
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Old doctors don't die...... they just lose their patients! Old teachers don't die...... they just lose their principals! Old truck drivers don't die....... they just get a new Peterbilt! ------------- Wentzville (MO) Lodge #46 - PM Pride of the West (MO) Lodge #179 - PM (twice) Pauldingville (MO) Lodge #11 - Secretary Warrenton (MO) Lodge #609 - Secretary Past DDGM - 25th Masonic District |
Posted By: De Darrah
Date Posted: February/28/2016 at 10:33am
------------- De Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A. As Brother Ben F. said "In Wine there is Wisdom In Beer there is Freedom In Water there is Bacteria" < |