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LEXOPHILIA

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Category: Forum Lounge (off-topic & lighter discussions)
Forum Name: General Discussions
Forum Description: Non-Esoteric Masonic Discussions
URL: http://forum.mastermason.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=12564
Printed Date: June/26/2019 at 7:29am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 - http://www.webwizforums.com


Topic: LEXOPHILIA
Posted By: De Darrah
Subject: LEXOPHILIA
Date Posted: February/24/2016 at 12:09pm
WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?         
Why, a lexophile of course!

How does Moses make tea?   Hebrews it
  
Venison for dinner again?   Oh deer! 
 
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.  Details are sketchy.
 
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
 
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
 
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
 
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
 
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

When chemists die, they barium.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.

I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen.  The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.



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De
Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES
PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ
Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A.

As Brother Ben F. said
"In Wine there is Wisdom
In Beer there is Freedom
In Water there is Bacteria"
<



Replies:
Posted By: Sec'yBob
Date Posted: February/26/2016 at 11:07am
I didn't want to be a cowboy..................but I got roped into it.

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Raised 2001
PM Crestwood-Anchor #443
PM Meramec #313 X3
Past DDGM Dist #24
Lodge Education Officer
Missouri Lodge of Research
O.E.S. Chapter 129 WP X2


Posted By: De Darrah
Date Posted: February/26/2016 at 12:47pm
Good one.  Clap

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De
Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES
PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ
Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A.

As Brother Ben F. said
"In Wine there is Wisdom
In Beer there is Freedom
In Water there is Bacteria"
<


Posted By: Sec'yBob
Date Posted: February/26/2016 at 7:18pm
We both have bucket lists, but yours "pails" in comparison to mine.Ouch

-------------
Raised 2001
PM Crestwood-Anchor #443
PM Meramec #313 X3
Past DDGM Dist #24
Lodge Education Officer
Missouri Lodge of Research
O.E.S. Chapter 129 WP X2


Posted By: edwmax
Date Posted: February/27/2016 at 6:30am
 "I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now."

..... a Paraprosdokian ....it's Rhetoric ...


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"He who would assume to govern others must first learn to govern himself."





Thomasville 369


Posted By: De Darrah
Date Posted: February/27/2016 at 9:22am
Max  you are the ELDER.  Big smile

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De
Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES
PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ
Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A.

As Brother Ben F. said
"In Wine there is Wisdom
In Beer there is Freedom
In Water there is Bacteria"
<


Posted By: edwmax
Date Posted: February/27/2016 at 9:33am
Originally posted by Sec'yBob Sec'yBob wrote:

We both have bucket lists, but yours "pails" in comparison to mine.Ouch


Now Bob    ... be nice to the Lady.   I'm pretty sure it's your list that pails in compassion to her's.  And, I think the last thing De wants to do is hurt you.  It's just last on her list.   ...LOL


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"He who would assume to govern others must first learn to govern himself."





Thomasville 369


Posted By: Sec'yBob
Date Posted: February/27/2016 at 4:31pm
Sorry,  I hadn't had my evening dose of scotch  yet.

I  will try and be nice in the future.Wacko




-------------
Raised 2001
PM Crestwood-Anchor #443
PM Meramec #313 X3
Past DDGM Dist #24
Lodge Education Officer
Missouri Lodge of Research
O.E.S. Chapter 129 WP X2


Posted By: edwmax
Date Posted: February/27/2016 at 7:29pm
Scotch ???   ... just a minute   .... hum, Gin will have to do here ....   darn it'll make me want to be bad.

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"He who would assume to govern others must first learn to govern himself."





Thomasville 369


Posted By: De Darrah
Date Posted: February/27/2016 at 11:05pm
Make mine Jack, gents.

-------------
De
Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES
PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ
Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A.

As Brother Ben F. said
"In Wine there is Wisdom
In Beer there is Freedom
In Water there is Bacteria"
<


Posted By: WBScott
Date Posted: February/28/2016 at 7:05am
Old doctors don't die...... they just lose their patients!

Old teachers don't die...... they just lose their principals!

Old truck drivers don't die....... they just get a new Peterbilt!


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Wentzville (MO) Lodge #46 - PM
Pride of the West (MO) Lodge #179 - PM (twice)
Pauldingville (MO) Lodge #11 - Secretary
Warrenton (MO) Lodge #609 - Secretary
Past DDGM - 25th Masonic District


Posted By: De Darrah
Date Posted: February/28/2016 at 10:33am
Thumbs Up  Clap  Clap  Clap  

-------------
De
Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES
PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ
Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A.

As Brother Ben F. said
"In Wine there is Wisdom
In Beer there is Freedom
In Water there is Bacteria"
<



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