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Grandpa and the IRS

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Category: Forum Lounge (off-topic & lighter discussions)
Forum Name: The Laughing Corner
Forum Description: A place for the Joking, goofing off ETC
URL: http://forum.mastermason.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=12783
Printed Date: October/28/2020 at 3:49am
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Topic: Grandpa and the IRS
Posted By: De Darrah
Subject: Grandpa and the IRS
Date Posted: August/23/2020 at 9:50pm
The IRS decided to audit Grandpa, and summoned him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”
“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Grandpa. “How about a demonstration?”
The auditor thinks for a moment and says, “OK. Go ahead.”
Grandpa says, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”
The auditor thinks a moment and says, “It’s a bet.”
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.
Grandpa says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”
The auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
“Want to go double or nothing?” Grandpa asks. “I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa’s attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
“Are you OK?” the auditor asks.
“Not really,” says the attorney. “This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it.”
Don’t mess with old people!


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De
Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES
PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ
Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A.

As Brother Ben F. said
"In Wine there is Wisdom
In Beer there is Freedom
In Water there is Bacteria"
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Replies:
Posted By: log cabin Bill
Date Posted: August/24/2020 at 6:31am
That's one of the funniest ones I've heard in a long time.  Thanks for sharing.

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North Hills Lodge, #716,PM
Allegheny RAM,#217,PHP
Allegheny Council,#38,PTIM
Allegheny Commandery #35
Knight Masons,Gateway To The West Council #5
AASR,Valley of Pgh.
Syria Shrine
Islam Grotto


Posted By: edwmax
Date Posted: August/26/2020 at 12:52pm
hahaha  !!!!    good one


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"He who would assume to govern others must first learn to govern himself."





Thomasville 369



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