The Test
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Topic: The Test
Posted By: De Darrah
Subject: The Test
Date Posted: December/02/2020 at 10:18am
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When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "Welcome, Forest. We've heard a lot about you." He continued, "Unfortunately, it's getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in." "Okay," said Forest. "I hope it's not too hard. I've already been through a test. My momma used to say, 'Life is like a final exam. It's hard.' " "Yes, Forest, I know. But this test is only three questions. Here they are." 1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?" 2) How many seconds are in a year? 3) What is God's first name? "Well, sir," said Forest, "The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Today and Tomorrow." St. Peter looked surprised and said, "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer." "The next question," said Forest, "How many seconds are in a year? Twelve." "Twelve?" said St. Peter, surprised and confused. "Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd …" St. Peter interrupted him. "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one, too." "And the last question," said Forest, "What is God's first name? It's Andy." "Andy?" said St. Peter, in shock. "How did you come up with 'Andy'?" "I learned it in church. We used to sing about it." Forest broke into song, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own." St. Peter opened the gate to heaven and said, "Run, Forest, Run!" ★¨*•♫.•Pass it on!! Give someone else a reason to smile. ♫ •* ★ ------------- De Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A. As Brother Ben F. said "In Wine there is Wisdom In Beer there is Freedom In Water there is Bacteria" < |
Replies:
Posted By: edwmax
Date Posted: December/02/2020 at 6:08pm
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At least now I know the answers when I have to take that test .... Thanks for the cheat sheet. ------------- "He who would assume to govern others must first learn to govern himself." Thomasville 369 |
Posted By: rchadwic
Date Posted: December/02/2020 at 8:40pm
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Nope. God’s first name is Howard. I learned that when I was in the first grade, back in the late ‘40’s.
It was September, and the first day of school for about 25 scared 6 year old residents of Bow, Bew Hampshire. We were herded into a classroom and sat down, and introduced to a very formidable lady named Miss Cross. Miss Cross had been teaching first grade for a loooonnnnggg time. I seem to recall that when I went home that night, my Dad recollected that he had her for first grade, too.
Well, anyways, Miss Cross took the time to carefully explain what we would be doing in First Grade, and what the routine of the day was. You’ll recall that we are talking about the mid-to-late 1949’s… This, if course, meant that the class routine daily started with the Lord’s Prayer. A lot of us were unfamiliar with this, so this became a teaching moment for Miss Cross and the class.
What I learned from Miss Cross, and it stuck with me for at least the next year, and I will remember it forever, was: “Our Father, Who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name…….” If Miss Cross said it, it must be so. I hope she is looking down favorably on my recollection. ------------- Bob Chadwick Palm Bay #397 Palm Bay, Fla |
Posted By: De Darrah
Date Posted: December/02/2020 at 9:21pm
------------- De Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A. As Brother Ben F. said "In Wine there is Wisdom In Beer there is Freedom In Water there is Bacteria" < |