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Single Masons Joining OES

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Category: Ladies Organizations & Youth Organizations
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Forum Description: Master Masons & Female members 18 years or older
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Topic: Single Masons Joining OES
Posted By: GAmastermason
Subject: Single Masons Joining OES
Date Posted: November/09/2008 at 11:48pm
My twin brother and I are single Masons joining the OES. Just mailed in our petitons tonight. Any ideas on what we can expect? I know a few members and the DDP is a PM of my lodge. Other than that not a clue.

-------------
Past Master
Past High Priest
Past Illustrious Master
Past Eminent Commander
Past Worthy Patron OES
Yaarab Shriner
Tall Cedars of Lebanon
KYCH



Replies:
Posted By: ga.mason
Date Posted: November/10/2008 at 2:55pm
If it is a typical OES chapter you can expect a lot of, welllll lets just say me and my wife joined a couple of years ago, went to every meeting,(she was a star point, I was AP) and finally got tired of the crap and quit going. Form your own opinion, but remember I warned you, nothing worse than a bunch of females bikering over weather to spend money or not on a given thing. I still pay my dues and help out when I can but I won't visit on a regular basis. I was warned by a PM about all of this and I failed to heed his warning. i hope you have better luck.

-------------
Snellville Lodge#99

Snellville,Georgia

Past Master 2011

2009 Mason of the Year (Snellville #99)

2011 Lodge of the Year (9th District)

DDGM Ninth District, Subdistrict F 2014


Posted By: GAmastermason
Date Posted: November/11/2008 at 12:50am
Thanks for the warning brother! I know,  women can't live with them, can't live without them huh? No. Seriously, my interest was peaked the brother talking to us about joining said a member we know and have ran across in life really wants us to join. Problem is I have not a clue who he is referring to and he won't tell us. I have met quite a lot of the ladies of the chapter, but just don't know. But, that's not the reason why we are joining we just want to be involved.


-------------
Past Master
Past High Priest
Past Illustrious Master
Past Eminent Commander
Past Worthy Patron OES
Yaarab Shriner
Tall Cedars of Lebanon
KYCH


Posted By: tm274
Date Posted: November/11/2008 at 1:30am

GAmastermason..........if you join OES, would then have to demit from your current Lodge as they may not recognise OES?

It's a big step you are taking and correct me if I'm wrong, but there wouldn't be as many OES Lodges to visit compared to MS Lodges.

Food for thought.


-------------
Initiated : 23rd April 2002
Passed   : 25th June 2002
Raised    : 24th Sept 2002

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
32° Farenheit is certainly not higher than 3° Cel.


Posted By: Palmetto Bug
Date Posted: November/11/2008 at 8:08am
tm274: OES (Order of the Eastern Star) is a legitimate appendant body - at least here in the United States. There are no such things as "OES Lodges."

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Homo sum; humani nihil a me alienum puto.

http://palmettomason.blogspot.com/


Posted By: Flotown79
Date Posted: November/11/2008 at 8:12am
Originally posted by ga.mason ga.mason wrote:

.....but remember I warned you, nothing worse than a bunch of females bikering over weather to spend money or not on a given thing.


Sounds like most Lodges I know of.  Arguing and bickering is not limited to the OES.  As a fact I have visited different Chapters many times and have not seen those activities.  In my jurisdiction a MM in good standing can visit a Chapter.  Contact the Patron or Associate Patron to let them know you would lie to visit.  There should be no problem.  




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F. E. Thomas III, MPS


Posted By: edwmax
Date Posted: November/11/2008 at 9:48am
Flo, I didn't know that. Too bad our local OES closed.



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"He who would assume to govern others must first learn to govern himself."





Thomasville 369


Posted By: Flotown79
Date Posted: November/11/2008 at 10:06am
Yeah, a MM can visit.  Don't attempt to vote or anything like that.  The ladies will surely set you straight on that.  As stated the visitation is my GL and GC, I can't speak for others.

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F. E. Thomas III, MPS


Posted By: De Darrah
Date Posted: November/11/2008 at 6:29pm
Congrats GAmastermason & to your brother.  OES has what we call five degrees they are given to you at your initiation.  I know it is hard to listen closely at that time and take in everything at once, but it is worth it.  The lessons are wonderful and will make you think.  After thirty plus years, I still love hearing the initiation.
     I am very sorry that GAmason had such a bad experience.  As for the chapter business, each chapter deals with it in their own way.  My advice is to remember the Worthy Matron is in control, the Worthy Patron is her advisor and holds a general supervision over the chapter.  They should work together to keep control of the proceeding and not let tempers fly, if a discussion is getting out of hand my advice is to appoint a committee to see to the subject, table the question until a later date and get on with the meeting.  Having sat in the East twice I can assure you that the Gavel is to be used by the Worthy Matron, I have done so on a few occasions.
I wish you and your brother well.


-------------
De
Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES
PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ
Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A.

As Brother Ben F. said
"In Wine there is Wisdom
In Beer there is Freedom
In Water there is Bacteria"
<


Posted By: Ashler38
Date Posted: November/13/2008 at 5:40am

Our OES Chapter gets along great . No arguing , gossiping or bickering , we just have a good time . No MM can enter our Chapter or any other Chapter unless he is a member of the Order and in good standing .



Posted By: qutazkanb
Date Posted: February/18/2010 at 8:25pm
Congratulations on you decision to join OES! As a sister I will say this to you and your brother, Just like being a MM the OES experience is what you make of it.  Yes there are times when we do not and cannot agree on things within the chapter, but I'm sure that you have experienced that in your lodge as well.   Look for the chapter that needs your help and that will accept yours.

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Qutazkanb


Posted By: DBlair
Date Posted: March/28/2010 at 4:13pm
I was curious about the role of a MM in OES. I'm considering joining OES and as it is primarily a women's organization, I was hoping someone could explain a bit about what there is for a MM who joins. Also, as a single, 29 year old, MM, would I be out of place in OES?

-------------
Hillsborough Lodge #25, F&AM (MM)
Grand Lodge of Florida (USA)
Valley of Tampa, AASR (32*)
Tampa Chapter #11, OES
Egypt Shriners, AAONMS
Young Egypt Shriners Club (Past President)


Posted By: Jayman
Date Posted: March/28/2010 at 4:20pm
Originally posted by DBlair DBlair wrote:

I was curious about the role of a MM in OES. I'm considering joining OES and as it is primarily a women's organization, I was hoping someone could explain a bit about what there is for a MM who joins. Also, as a single, 29 year old, MM, would I be out of place in OES?
 
I won't say anything other than this.
 
Find out when the next OES meeting is. Drive by the lodge building beforehand. Park and watch who enters the building.
 
If you are okay with the demographic you are seeing and think you can fit in with them, then investigate a little further.


Posted By: newlight
Date Posted: April/12/2010 at 11:31pm
not to sound like a seperatist or anything but why?  in La I just have not heard of men in OES.  Im sure there are, but there is so much work to do in lodge why join OES.  May seem like a bad question, but as DBlair asked what is ther for a MM in OES.  My question is sincere despite my initial statement.


Posted By: Flotown79
Date Posted: April/12/2010 at 11:40pm
Originally posted by newlight newlight wrote:

not to sound like a seperatist or anything but why?  in La I just have not heard of men in OES.  Im sure there are, but there is so much work to do in lodge why join OES.  May seem like a bad question, but as DBlair asked what is ther for a MM in OES.  My question is sincere despite my initial statement.


A man (MM) is required to be a member of the Chapter.  All OES Chapters that follow the rules and regs have Patrons. 

OES is like any other body.  It is no different from being a member of the Shrine, Scottish or York Rites, Social Order of the Beauceant , or member of the Grotto.

There are many groups that require MM membership in order to join.




-------------

F. E. Thomas III, MPS


Posted By: DBlair
Date Posted: April/13/2010 at 11:23am
This is the perspective I've gathered thus far from speaking to various people...
 
Order of Eastern Star:
- MMs can become officers quickly and potentially move up the line fast.
- Seen as generally being an organization for older ladies.
- Seen as something for older MMs who are married.
- A Master Mason has to be present at every OES meeting, but there is often a shortage of MMs involved, thereby resulting in the same MMs being put in as Patron over and over.
- Many WMs (and some other officers) of the associated BL tend to join OES as a courtesy, but rarely are active beyond initiation.
- Summary: Perspective of it being for older ladies seems to detract many potential members.


-------------
Hillsborough Lodge #25, F&AM (MM)
Grand Lodge of Florida (USA)
Valley of Tampa, AASR (32*)
Tampa Chapter #11, OES
Egypt Shriners, AAONMS
Young Egypt Shriners Club (Past President)


Posted By: Flotown79
Date Posted: April/13/2010 at 2:33pm
Originally posted by DBlair DBlair wrote:

This is the perspective I've gathered thus far from speaking to various people...
 
Order of Eastern Star:
- MMs can become officers quickly and potentially move up the line fast.



There are not to many positions men can have in the OES. 

Originally posted by DBlair DBlair wrote:



- Seen as generally being an organization for older ladies.



Not totally true.  This varies from Chapter to Chapter.  Today the OES Chapter that is affiliated with my lodge has 4 ladies that should become full members today.  Their ages are 23-30.  My sisters are members (21 and 40) and sis-in-law (31). 

Originally posted by DBlair DBlair wrote:



- Seen as something for older MMs who are married.



Again it varies from Chapter to Chapter.  One male 27 is joining with the ladies today also.

Originally posted by DBlair DBlair wrote:



- A Master Mason has to be present at every OES meeting, but there is often a shortage of MMs involved, thereby resulting in the same MMs being put in as Patron over and over.



Yes a MM must be present.  In my area the Patron usually is in office for 2-3 years. 

Originally posted by DBlair DBlair wrote:



- Many WMs (and some other officers) of the associated BL tend to join OES as a courtesy, but rarely are active beyond initiation.



This might be true.  However if their heart is not in it, like any organization, don't join.

Originally posted by DBlair DBlair wrote:



- Summary: Perspective of it being for older ladies seems to detract many potential members.


You know some say the same thing about Masonry. 


-------------

F. E. Thomas III, MPS


Posted By: DBlair
Date Posted: April/13/2010 at 2:56pm
Thanks for explaining these points... I'm going to look into OES a bit more as it seems there are many stereotypes (like Masonry) that are not always accurate. I will indeed take a deeper look.

-------------
Hillsborough Lodge #25, F&AM (MM)
Grand Lodge of Florida (USA)
Valley of Tampa, AASR (32*)
Tampa Chapter #11, OES
Egypt Shriners, AAONMS
Young Egypt Shriners Club (Past President)


Posted By: phllip1969
Date Posted: April/14/2010 at 5:39am
Originally posted by newlight newlight wrote:

not to sound like a seperatist or anything but why?  in La I just have not heard of men in OES.  Im sure there are, but there is so much work to do in lodge why join OES.  May seem like a bad question, but as DBlair asked what is ther for a MM in OES.  My question is sincere despite my initial statement.


If you have not heard of men in the OES , then how do explain the Worthy Patron and Associate Patron ? And If there is so much work to be done in the Lodge why should a MM join the YR, SR ,  Shrine , Grotto or the Tall Cedars ? The OES has beautiful degrees with a lot to learn from these degrees . I went in years before my wife and absolutely loved it . Now we are in it together and I love it even more . We have single Masons in our OES Chapter that loves it . What is there for a Master Mason in the OES ? The same as there is in lodge  , enjoying the fellowship with my Sisters and Brothers , being their for one another , taking what we are taught at each point of the Star and applying it to our lives , helping our communities , helping out at our OES homes etc; etc; .  See , I have the best of both worlds , if push came to shove , and I was down and out and in need of aid or just someone there for me , not only would I have my Lodge Brothers there for me but I would also have my OES Chapter Sisters and Brothers there too .

So when it comes to joining the OES I may ask , why not ? There is work to be done there also .


Posted By: newlight
Date Posted: April/14/2010 at 7:07am
Phillip1969
 
The beauty of this forum is that it teaches as much as it allows us to vent or help.  My inital post was one of ignornace.  I did not even realize there has to be a MM in the OES.  I sincerely thought it was generally a womans organization.  I stand completely corrected and somewhat interested.  Although I need to become much more active and proficient in my regular lodge before I seriously consider branching out.


Posted By: Flotown79
Date Posted: April/14/2010 at 7:26am
Originally posted by newlight newlight wrote:

Phillip1969
 
The beauty of this forum is that it teaches as much as it allows us to vent or help.  My inital post was one of ignornace.  I did not even realize there has to be a MM in the OES.  I sincerely thought it was generally a womans organization.  I stand completely corrected and somewhat interested.  Although I need to become much more active and proficient in my regular lodge before I seriously consider branching out.


As a MM you are allowed to visit their meetings.  Just contact the Patron or Asso Patron and let them know you might be interested in joining and would like to visit a few times.  I am sure they will have open arms. 




-------------

F. E. Thomas III, MPS


Posted By: De Darrah
Date Posted: April/14/2010 at 11:47am
Originally posted by Flotown79 Flotown79 wrote:

Originally posted by newlight newlight wrote:

Phillip1969
 
The beauty of this forum is that it teaches as much as it allows us to vent or help.  My inital post was one of ignornace.  I did not even realize there has to be a MM in the OES.  I sincerely thought it was generally a womans organization.  I stand completely corrected and somewhat interested.  Although I need to become much more active and proficient in my regular lodge before I seriously consider branching out.


As a MM you are allowed to visit their meetings.  Just contact the Patron or Asso Patron and let them know you might be interested in joining and would like to visit a few times.  I am sure they will have open arms. 


Not all Jurisdictions allow visitation to meetings from Brothers.  In CA in my Grand Chapter Jurisdiction you absolutely must be Eastern Star to attend a stated or closed meeting.  You must have your current dues card with you or be vouched for and pass the examination test before you can enter the Chapter room.  NO EXCEPTIONS.  I even had to bar the Grand Conductress from entering an official visit because she had not signed her dues card. She was exasperated with me, but rules are rules & the C & L RULES.
 
Newlight I agree, you should spend a few years doing the work of the lodge and immerse your self there.  You will be better prepared when you join the "Concordant & or Affiliated" bodies.  As a Master Mason in Eastern Star there are nine offices that you can hold, Worthy Patron, Associate Patron, Treasurer, Secretary, Musician, Chaplain, Marshal, Warder, Sentinel, as well as any committee positions a chapter might have.  Believe me there is plenty for a Master Mason to do.  Just like your lodge we teach many of lifes lessons through our rituals, we also have our own charities as well as the Masonic Charities to support and participate in.
Why join an Affiliated Order.  First, the Affiliated bodies such as OES & WSOJ, are where the entire family can join and participate together.  A husband & wife, father & daughter, grandfather & granddaughter, mother & son or grandmother & grandson etc... can serve together in the East. 
Second, don't be deceived by those who say we are all little old gray haired (I'm not) ladies.  Most ladies join when they are single in there twenties, then run off to college, or the military, then they come back to chapter, get caught up and disappear again to raise a family (thats where the gray hair) comes from.  By the time they are in their late 30's - 40's  they have time to come back and really enjoy chapter.


-------------
De
Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES
PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ
Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A.

As Brother Ben F. said
"In Wine there is Wisdom
In Beer there is Freedom
In Water there is Bacteria"
<


Posted By: Flotown79
Date Posted: April/14/2010 at 12:01pm
Originally posted by De Darrah De Darrah wrote:



Not all Jurisdictions allow visitation to meetings from Brothers.  In CA in my Grand Chapter Jurisdiction you absolutely must be Eastern Star to attend a stated or closed meeting.  You must have your current dues card with you or be vouched for and pass the examination test before you can enter the Chapter room.  NO EXCEPTIONS.  I even had to bar the Grand Conductress from entering an official visit because she had not signed her dues card. She was exasperated with me, but rules are rules & the C & L RULES.


I did not know this.  I guess it varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction.

Oh yeah the non signed dues car.  I have had to inform a few member of this forum about that. 


-------------

F. E. Thomas III, MPS


Posted By: De Darrah
Date Posted: April/14/2010 at 12:20pm
I did not know this.  I guess it varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction.

Oh yeah the non signed dues car.  I have had to inform a few member of this forum about that. 
[/QUOTE]
Our Sec. always tells the new members "Oh by the way your dues card isn't legal until it is signed on this line" then she shows them the line and hands her pen to them to sign it.  I think this kind of reinforces the point from day one. Big%20smile


-------------
De
Past Matron New Hope Ch. #117 OES
PWHP Palm Shrine No.32 now Alchor #27 WSOJ
Y.B.Y.S.A.I.A.

As Brother Ben F. said
"In Wine there is Wisdom
In Beer there is Freedom
In Water there is Bacteria"
<


Posted By: phllip1969
Date Posted: April/14/2010 at 2:10pm
Originally posted by newlight newlight wrote:

Phillip1969
 
The beauty of this forum is that it teaches as much as it allows us to vent or help.  My inital post was one of ignornace.  I did not even realize there has to be a MM in the OES.  I sincerely thought it was generally a womans organization.  I stand completely corrected and somewhat interested.  Although I need to become much more active and proficient in my regular lodge before I seriously consider branching out.


My apologies if that came off hostile , as I did not mean it to be that way . The written word can be taken differently than the spoken word and I forget that . Again , I did not mean to come off as sarcastic .

But I will say that when you are comfortable in your Blue Lodge and you have the time to stretch your legs , you really should check out the Order of the Eastern Star , it's Induction is truly a beautiful experience .




Posted By: country.leah
Date Posted: March/26/2012 at 10:49pm
Hi I'm a 3rd Generation,..,.,total of 4 generations in the Family,..,., involved in the Masonic Lodge, Im a active Officer in OES.I will say we dont have all the bickering in our Lodge that I hear people talking about. We hold eachother up and are there for our Brothers and Sisters in the Order,..,.,,..,

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Country_gal


Posted By: KSigMason
Date Posted: March/27/2012 at 10:21pm
I passed my proficiency last week and next week is elections so we'll see how that goes.

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Bro. Barry E. Newell

http://www.travelingtemplar.com" rel="nofollow - Traveling Templar - 04MAR2017


Posted By: NobleShabba
Date Posted: April/06/2012 at 4:08pm
Originally posted by GAmastermason GAmastermason wrote:

My twin brother and I are single Masons joining the OES. Just mailed in our petitons tonight. Any ideas on what we can expect? I know a few members and the DDP is a PM of my lodge. Other than that not a clue.


Ok, here is the drop.

As a single male, you may get mixed reactions.

From the older siSTARS, you will probably get spoiled rotten - especially on those repasts. You better get up on that treadmill if you betray the fact that you like their cooking and based on what I have tasted, they have no shortage of skills there...

From the younger siSTARS, as a single male you may be seen with some suspicion like a fox in the henhouse, but that impression will either be confirmed or changed with your enduring attitude. And trust me, masons will miss a thing or two about you over time, but these ladies don't miss A THING. My best advise is to be yourself, be sincere, be respectful.

Finally, a word to you, brother to brother. The writer of the OES degrees was a deep, deep, deep, DEEP brother. Trust me, take some time to read your OES degrees, soak it in, go back to your masonic lessons, soak that in, then come back again. Some stuff to chew on. As WP, I attend a meeting monthly that is hosted by the GWP, and its for all the WP / AP / PP and any other interested brothers. A PGP gave us a solid half-hour lecture on the green point alone, all I could say when this was done was - wow.

So, you a lot is there for the taking, you just need to understand that its not face-value.

Just my $0.02

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----------------------

DISCLAIMER: These are my comments, and mine alone - they do not necessarily apply to any group to which I belong!


Posted By: MrJMA
Date Posted: April/24/2012 at 11:15pm
Originally posted by ga.mason ga.mason wrote:

If it is a typical OES chapter you can expect a lot of, welllll lets just say me and my wife joined a couple of years ago, went to every meeting,(she was a star point, I was AP) and finally got tired of the crap and quit going. Form your own opinion, but remember I warned you, nothing worse than a bunch of females bikering over weather to spend money or not on a given thing. I still pay my dues and help out when I can but I won't visit on a regular basis. I was warned by a PM about all of this and I failed to heed his warning. i hope you have better luck.


I feel you brother, I was the AP of my old chapter and had to step down because of the same thing. 

-------------
Recently healed to PHA 4-18-12, officially PHA 4-23-12


Posted By: KSigMason
Date Posted: April/25/2012 at 12:56am
I don't see too much drama in my Chapter and I am very happy for that as I am the newly installed AP.

-------------
Bro. Barry E. Newell

http://www.travelingtemplar.com" rel="nofollow - Traveling Templar - 04MAR2017


Posted By: jdwalker519
Date Posted: January/01/2015 at 9:15am
Bickering can happen in any organization, OES, Masonic, non-Masonic.  I quit the Board of Directors of my homeowners association in disgust back in May when it just got too much for me.  It's not about the organization, it's about the people.

I'm Secretary of my mother Lodge, and it's a lot of work, but I get a lot of appreciation for the good job I do, and advice is always there when I need it (thankfully, last year's WM is also a PGM in my jurisdiction).  Absent a worthy successor, I'll need to be dragged kicking and screaming out of this chair.....I've found my niche.

I'm newly-elected as Secretary of my 2nd Lodge, and the workload itself is considerably less.  Dealing with different personalities in getting things done in the Lodge will be my challenge.

It's all in what you make of it.


-------------
J.D. Walker
Free and Accepted Masons of the District of Columbia
Royal Arch of the District of Columbia
Order of the Eastern Star, Grand Chapter of Virginia


Posted By: NobleShabba
Date Posted: January/02/2015 at 6:28am
very well said bro walker, the take-home message being "bickering can happen in any organization"...

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----------------------

DISCLAIMER: These are my comments, and mine alone - they do not necessarily apply to any group to which I belong!


Posted By: jdwalker519
Date Posted: February/16/2019 at 3:04pm
And now the bickering in my local OES chapter (of which I am a PP) has turned into outright war.  One member is trying to be Worthy Matron from the sidelines.  No one wants to stand up to her.  It's on me.  As Roger Murtaugh might say "I'm too old for this schitt".

-------------
J.D. Walker
Free and Accepted Masons of the District of Columbia
Royal Arch of the District of Columbia
Order of the Eastern Star, Grand Chapter of Virginia



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